2 years ago today, I visited DC for the first time. Last week I officially moved from Oklahoma to 30 mins away from the Capitol. Wild.
The song I have been listening to these past few days I heard 3 years ago. "Stargazing" by KYGO. It's beautiful. Take a listen. I want to do a cover on it sometime. I finally understood the lyrics so much better as it applies to a part of my life very well and I think applies to the world right now too. HOPE. We can't lose it. Even when the worst is going on around us...
"Stars don't disappear, they keep blazing...."
"So if it's beyond us...then it's beyond us. Let's see and decide"
"And I will still be here, stargazing"
“Life is like a stack of papers (priorities/obligations) and sometimes there is just going to be A DIFFERENT paper at the top and that’s OKAY"
These papers could represent goals, family, friends, your struggles, a thought that has been on your mind, a person, an idea, a task) All the papers are important ...IF you sorted through them and kept the needed ones and threw out the useless ones. This takes putting in the time to go through each paper (the old ones, the new ones, the ones that you don’t want to look at but know you have to, the boring ones, the exciting ones, etc) Looking at it when your mind is ready and tossing it out or saving it for another day. That technique is something you work on throughout life. What is the anchor at the bottom holding the papers? For me it has to be God. Make sure that anchor is secure or your papers will have no way to stay organized.
Hope through this pandemic, uprising, any struggles, and massive changes in the world you all have been productive, learning, contributing, and growing.
This start to Call Me Clarity has been exciting.
I’ve learned so many new things and that I could accomplish it all by myself and with genuine support. Thank you.
But with that said...
I am going to be taking a little break... A temporary one. I can’t put my full focus to this right now and frankly there is so much on my mind I don’t feel comfortable sharing much about my life. You may see a new cover here and there or something from work, but in terms of my clarity structured posts I’ll need to come back to that later... when I have more clarity to offer authentically!
You know that meme where everything is on fire and the dog is melting but still smiling and sipping coffee?.... sorta felt that the other day so I knew it was time to re-calibrate again.
I had a talk with a friend about being so preoccupied with the fact that I even go through these fluctuations of being on social media and how that was really bothering me. I realized why...
Two ideals I admire and work on are consistency and true communication. This one is about consistency. So when I don’t have it. I get really hard on myself. “Shoot, I missed the Saturday post” “Man you haven’t talked about your music a lot ” “Darn, I just don’t feel like working on that today” “I don’t feel like engaging with content today” “Aah I was able to to do this all so well last month consistently, why can’t I do it now during these changes?” “Why do I have another 40 things on my to-do list today? “Something is bothering me, why can’t I fix it immediately?”
But here’s the other thing I’ve realized. The things I’m passionate about I’ll always have on my mind to some degree as it evolves. No doubt.
So here’s the new motto: It’s okay if consistency isn’t always there. I’m an ambitious gal and sometimes I have to cut myself some slack and realize the exact thing I said when I FIRST posted about my blog (the metaphorical life is a stack of paper's message you read at the beginning of this email)
I’m reminded I constantly need to read back on my own advice.
My album is still coming out. I’ll be back again then and hopefully I can let you know what my first few months as a doctor has been like.
I hope you are learning and contributing to BLM in your own way even if its reflecting in yourself. I’ll be honest with you my life has been quickly changing so that I haven’t been able to contribute other than petitions, donations, and some re-sharing of posts. It’s really not enough.
But you can’t take care of other people, if you need to also take care of yourself first.
See ya soon. And please. Even if I am not seeing your posts and engaging as much as I want.... Send it to me personally if it’s important to you. I may be a little delayed responding but I’m still here behind the scenes finding clarity on my own...adding it to my stack of papers...because if it’s worth it to me, I promise, it will be in there.
Clara T